A Review: The Town.

 

Warning:  Very long post ahead!  My friend, upon learning I had started a blog, asked me if I would do movie reviews.  Actually, he made me promise him I would.  This is my attempt at such a thing.  No major plot points are given away.  In fact, I mostly talk about the acting because that's what most interested me.   

I can tell I’m not falling for a movie when I’m okay talking through it.  More than once I leaned over to whisper something, aghast at what was in front of my face.  Not good.  Not good at all when the most exciting thing is Ray LaMontagne playing at the end of the movie.  If anything, Ben, I love you for that.

To be fair, the relationships were strong, if not a little forced, the action palpable, and it's emotionally driven.  Worth seeing if you're willing to turn your brain off for two hours.     

Here’s the thing.  A movie is only as good as its script.  It’s the truth.  You can have pretty actors, good actors, big-named actors, good directors, DPs, the whole she-bang [you like how I threw in the term DP like I know what I’m talking about?], but it ain’t nothing if the words coming out of their mouths aren’t real.  Novels don't innately make good scripts, boys.   

Moment of truth:  I like Ben Affleck.  I know I’m gonna get some words for that, but I’ll stand by it.  I think it was a valiant effort for directing and the man can hold his own in his ol’ Boston hood.  In fact, Benny is at his best when he’s dropping the Rs and spewing the truth to a homeboy.  Ever since Good Will Hunting I’ve always been a Ben girl, not a Matt girl.  So sue me.   

And yes, I know he co-wrote it.  I know.  I’ll quote my girl Bridgid, who at the end of the movie seeing that he did in fact co-write the abysmal script we were just subjected to said, “I’m just going to assume he didn’t write the bad parts.”  I stand by you with that, Bridg.  I’ll hold my breath, too. 

You see, if you can make my Jon Hamm look ridiculous, sound ridiculous and literally make me shake my head at my dreamboat of a man, we have a problem.  I would quote some of his lines, but I can’t type that kind of profanity and I don’t want to be sued for copyright laws.  But for reals, his part was trash.  It makes me so sad when I see an actor I love in an uncomfortable role.  And, if we’re really being honest, the man I love can’t do a Boston accent.  It’s okay, Jon.  I can’t either.  If Jennifer won’t console you, just give me a call.  If you can get over me lambasting your performance, that is. 

Surprise of the century:  Blake Lively was not terrible, albeit in a small role.  In fact, I fell for the girl.  She still has that weird mouth thing happening, but maybe she could say it was a choice for the part.  It kinda worked.  Way more than it does on Gossip Girl. 

Jeremy Renner:  Always good.  I’ve never seen him phone it in.  Though, I haven’t seen him do much, but every time -- good.  Can he finally admit somewhere in public that he was on a Bravo reality show, The It Factor, that followed actors around while they try to make it?!  It kills me that he’s gotten away with it for so long.  And, ladies and gentlemen, he’s obviously made it.  Way to go, Jeremy.  Just please admit it.  For my sanity alone.  

Chris Cooper?  Really?  I think he’s friends with Ben Affleck and owed him a favor because he was seriously on screen for about 5 minutes.  Of course he knocked it out of the park.  The man can do no wrong. 

Rebecca Hall.  I hesitate.  I think she was another casualty of the script, and I am finding it hard to look past.  She is beautiful, there is no question about that [a part of her probably just died inside because my first critique is in regards to her beauty.  or maybe a part of me died.].  She was earnest.  Though she had some of the shittiest lines I’ve ever heard that lacked segues and any form of reality.  I literally laughed out loud at what was supposed to be a sentimental moment.  Well, maybe not laugh, but made that pfffffshaw noise.  You know what I’m talking about.

Benny, Benny, Benny.  I’ve already talked about him.  Like I said, he’s at his best in these types of movies [re: located in Boston] and I think he did a fine job, even if Jeremy did an Irish jig around him every time they were on screen together. 

With all that said, I was still somewhat entertained.  Somewhat.  I still shielded my eyes at certain points for fear of what was coming next.  And I cared about sweet Benny boy, but maybe that was because I already felt sorry for him and his Matt Damon-sized shadow cast upon him.  That’s the thing:  I can’t separate Ben Affleck from the former JLo-loving, father-of-two-kids-with-Jennifer-Garner-man that we know.  I spent chunks of time during the movie thinking about what his life must be like.  That’s what happens with celebrity, it can ruin a career.  Well, not ruin in this case, but pigeonhole forever.

To be honest though, most actors are only good at one thing and this is obviously his, and not even I can hate a man for that.  But maybe he should have someone else write his scripts from now on.