Being a Human.

"Being a human being is not easy, and it often feels so lonely, like we’re the only ones feeling the way we do. I am so grateful when I can see myself in someone else, when I am humbled by what I needed to hear, and when I am reminded that I am not alone."

Did y'all read Fiona Apple's letter regarding cancelling the South American leg of her tour due to her dying dog?  If not, you really should.

I was touched and moved by her letter, and had those unfortunate moments of wondering what it would be like when my own pet dies.  And I thought that was that.

But then I read Tracee Elliss Ross' take on the letter and felt even more grateful for truth and the power of words.  I am never more grateful for the internet than when I read something that makes me feel seen and understood.  Especially this:

"This letter is so brave, the stuff of giants. What is so extraordinary about Fiona’s words and what touched me so deeply is her courage and her willingness to own her truth. To trust her gut and choose love — that heart-wrenching mixed bag — and choose to be present in the face of heartbreak and joy, is truly amazing.  I am always in awe of people who choose to be present for the reality of a true connection. To allow a being to be as important as Janet is to Fiona is a beautiful and powerful thing."

Words could never ring more true than they did yesterday, and it's exactly what I needed.  Sometimes being a human is harder than you'd hoped and true connections are more difficult to achieve than they should be.  But acknowledging the problem is half the battle, right?

image via pinterest/tumblr   

Moving Forward.

I wasn't gonna be so political on this here blog, but then I saw this photo and I just couldn't help it.

Hot damn I love these two!

And since I"m already here I thought I'd post these words because they filled my heart with joy and hope.  Let's do this thing together, folks.

"I believe we can seize this future together because we are not as divided as our politics suggests. We’re not as cynical as the pundits believe. We are greater than the sum of our individual ambitions and we remain more than a collection of red states and blue states. We are, and forever will be, the United States of America."

image found here. quote found here.

The Body Love Blog.

Warning: Long Post Ahead.   No hurt feelings if you don't read. 

Have y'all seen/read Humans of New York??  If not, you really really should.  It's such a wonderful pick-me-up for me.  Whenever.  Forever.  Brandon always seems to find the most wonderful and charming and smile-enducing folks to photograph and the blurbs are the best part.  I can't tell you how many times I've teared up just flipping through.

You might've also heard about Stella and the Body Love Blog.

I heard about Stella through Humans of New York and I am grateful.  It's rare when a stranger can reach through and mean something so powerful to you via the internet.  Stella means that to me.

Long story way too short that is much better written elsewhere (PLEASE GO READ HER STORY ON HUMANS OF NEW YORK) she was excited to see Brandon taking photos and asked to take his photo.  One thing lead to another and she made her mark and ended up on the Today Show.

Below you will find the original post:
 
Today I met an NYU student named Stella. I took a photo of her. Afterwards, she told me about a self-portrait she recently posted on Tumblr. So, instead of the photo I took, here is her self-portrait:
thebodyloveblog:

WARNING: Picture might be considered obscene because subject is not thin. And we all know that only skinny people can show their stomachs and celebrate themselves. Well I’m not going to stand for that. This is my body. Not yours. MINE. Meaning the choices I make about it, are none of your fucking business. Meaning my size, IS NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS.

If my big belly and fat arms and stretch marks and thick thighs offend you, then that’s okay. I’m not going to hide my body and my being to benefit your delicate sensitivities.

This picture is for the strange man at my nanny’s church who told me my belly was too big when I was five.

This picture is for my horseback riding trainer telling me I was too fat when I was nine.

This picture is for the girl from summer camp who told me I’d be really pretty if I just lost a few pounds

This picture is for all the fucking stupid advertising agents who are selling us cream to get rid of our stretch marks, a perfectly normal thing most people have (I got mine during puberty)

This picture is for the boy at the party who told me I looked like a beached whale.

This picture is for Emily from middle school, who bullied me incessantly, made mocking videos about me, sent me nasty emails, and called me “lard”. She made me feel like I didn’t deserve to exist. Just because I happened to be bigger than her. I was 12. And she continued to bully me via social media into high school.

MOST OF ALL, this picture is for me. For the girl who hated her body so much she took extreme measures to try to change it. Who cried for hours over the fact she would never be thin. Who was teased and tormented and hurt just for being who she was.

I’m so over that.
THIS IS MY BODY, DEAL WITH IT.

and FUCK YOU ALL who tried to degrade my being and sense of self with your hurtful comments and actions. 

GUESS WHAT IT DIDN’T WORK HAHAHAHAH

xoxoxoxoxoox

 Stella is a hero.  To me.  To many others.

I've struggled with my weight much of my adult life.  It's not something I like to openly discuss as it hits too close home to me.  It's not something I like to discuss because it's personal.  It's not something I like to discuss because I know it is self-induced.  Sure I could eat less.  Sure I could eat better.  Sure I could exercise more (at all).  If it really bothers me so much I should (and can) change it with a lot of work. 

You see I've gained weight, lost weight, and gained it back.  I loved and hated being skinny.  I loved the clothes and I loved the way I felt; I hated the attention I received.  There is so much more attention than when I'm fat.  Even from people I know.  It's almost like I mattered more because I was more conventionally attractive.  I hated it.  I'm not saying that's why I gained the weight back, but I wasn't necessarily heartbroken to not deal with that shit anymore.

Sure it might've been because it was in contrast to my previous weight.  I, too, want to congratulate people when I see they've lost weight.  But it wasn't the congratulations or conversations about it, it was the conversations people didn't have with me before but had since the weight loss.  As if I made it to the cool kids' table.  It's such a complicated issue and I'm sure my lack of objectivity only makes it worse, but I know how I felt and I didn't like it.       

I'd love to wear all the fabulous outfits I put together on this blog, but would most likely not fit into them.  To be completely honest, that's partly why I've stopped posting here.  It feels disingenuous to be shilling a life that is so far from my own.  It used to be my life and still could be, just in a different clothes section and I haven't admitted that here.  Nor have I dealt with it in my life.  I vacillate between wanting to accept my body for what it is no matter its size and losing the weight I've gained in the past two years.

Part of me knows I'd be healthier and happier if I lost the weight and that's worth it all.  Part of me worries that I'm not solving any problems by not loving who I am now, the way that I look now.  If I can't do it looking like this I never will.

If only Stella could whisper sweet nothings in my ear. 

And, honestly, that's what I'm trying here -- I'm trying to be honest and straight forward.  I'm hoping to be as honest as I can about a topic that is both utterly confusing and horrifically embarrassing for me.  I'm hoping by saying it out loud I'll take the wind out of the sails and be able to move forward.  I don't even know if that makes sense to you.  I'm not even sure if that matters. 

If anything, thank you for being part of a space that lets me make sloppy pronouncements like this.        

Non-Friday Links. Again.

{via pinterest/tailwaggingtime}

This photo makes me grin like an idiot each time I see it, so I thought I'd share it all with you.  I don't have much today, but thought I should pop in.  Wanted to pop in.

This review/recap is oh so old now, but it encapsulates my thoughts on The Newsroom so well I just had to bring it to the party. [If you haven't seen the show and don't want spoilers you can read until it says "The Final Rundown."]

I am borderline crazy about these Revlon ColorBurst Lip Butters (phew! what a ridic name).  I know everyone and their mom has blogged about them, but they're so great!  I've already purchased four colors (returning two) and am beginning to wonder what other colors I should get.  It's a sickness.

Did everyone read this?  If not, YOU SHOULD!

PLEASE HELP ME:  Should I buy this bag?  And if I should: Red or Ivory???

Now that summer will inevitably be coming to a close -- haven't you always wanted to know what each Song of the Summer was going back to 1962?  Well, I did.

Everyone's favorite term: slut shaming! What I think is an important point in this national "trampire" debate.

That is all. 

Who's That Lady?

Helllllllooooooooo, girl crush!  How does she do it?  I am DYING over all of her outfits and you should, too.

Go check out Kendi Everyday because it'll cure what ails ya.

I am aware I am late to this ballgame by her over 12,000 readers, but a new blog to me might be a new blog to you, and this girl likes to shhhare. 

I wonder if that girl (^) would like to share that top up there in the first picture because, seriously, I can't stop scrolling up to look at it.

I may have just found my soulmate*.

*The shirt, fools.  No need to be so scurred, Kendi.

The Globes!

It was kind of boring, yes?  My favorite moment of the night, by far, was this:

If you didn't watch the show, Amy and Tina were nominated in the same category and this is Tina stealing into Amy's shot after they announced her name.  I loved it!

I also very much enjoyed Felicity Huffman and William H. Macy's little diddy they sang while presenting.  How did they manage to make that charming and not cloying?

Ricky Gervais was more subdued, but still managed to make me laugh a few times.  Some of the speeches were super endearing and Ben Kingsley's wife oooooobviously had some champagne and was feeling a bit randy.

Now!  Onto the dresses.  The most important part, right?

I feel like there was a lot of the same thing we've always seen.  (Doesn't Kate Beckinsale always wear that dress??)  Some good, some bad, and lots in between.

Reese Witherspoon looked like Jessica Rabbit and I loved it; newlywed looks good on this girl!  Sophia Vergara Pulled. It. OUT and no one could look away.  That woman could be the devil incarnate and nobody would care.  Even Tina Fey threw on some color and poof for the party.

In the interest of brevity, here are my three favorites of the evening:

First and FOREMOST, Charlize Theron.  DAMN.  She managed to look both ethereal and fierce all at the same time.  And usually I HATE the tiara, headband thing, but she managed to even pull that off.  I don't think she's ever looked better.

Secondly, Salma Hayek who turned into a disco queen for the evening.  I loved how her ombre hair mirrored the dress and she definitely stood out from all the rest of the ballgowns on the red carpet.  Well done, Salma.  Well done.  I want to wear this dress while lounging around my apartment. 

And, lastly, Octavia Spencer.  I'm so impressed when you see a real woman's body on the red carpet dressed so well.  The ruching was perfection and the color couldn't look better on her.  And she won!  Which made Melissa McCarthy cry!  I saw her interviewed and she said last year she was collecting money for a Golden Globes pool and this year she was nominated AND WON.  Stories like that make me so happy.

 

Otherwise, I don't see what y'all see in that Angelina dress -- it looks pretty terrible to me.  I was really excited Laura Dern won (she's SO GOOD in Enlightened!) and I thought she looked lovely.  Dame Helen Mirrin looked A-MAZ-ING.  Lea Michele looked like a forty-year-old trying too hard, and she is still posing too hard, too.  It's cringe-worthy.

And that's all I can remember at this point.

OH WAIT.  Diana Agron -- NOOOOO.

That is all.

What did you think?? 

Snow Weekend.

It's the first real snow of the season (quite late this year!).  And I can promise you I won't ever look this pretty running around in it.  Well, I don't usually make it a habit to run around in wedding gowns.  That's what that is, right?

Anyway, I'm linkless today because most of them are on my work computer and I forgot to send them home.  Next week, for sure!

Have a great weekend, pretty ladies!  Let's all go make some snow angels. 

image via pinterest

A Beauty in the Streets.

I am smitten with the black and brown combination.  This lady pulls it off so well because there are different variations of the same color, nothing is too matchy matchy.  Ya know, to use a technical term.

And the berry lips are just icing on the cake.

You know what else would look great with this outfit?  Those boots from yesterday! 

pinterest via the shiny squirrel

Unexpected Girl Crush.

It's been a while since I've done a Girl Crush post and I guess this seemed like the right time.  I know I will be going against some folks of mine who don't agree, but a girl must do what she thinks is right, yes?

I'd be lying if I said I was always on Kirsten Dunst's side.  As a woman who doesn't like to admit her inability to be on other women's sides, this is no easy task.  Sorry.  There was something about her that grated on me.

BUT.  I saw and re-saw and re-saw and re-saw Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and wasn't she GREAT in that movie??  She seriously was so great in that movie.  Er, but that's not my point.

What I like best about Ms. Dunst is her ability to be true to who she is.  Remember when she took some time to take care of her mental health?  Yes, I remember.  And I respect her greatly for it.  I also really love that she refused to change her snaggly smile (which I'm sure many folks in the biz probably advised her against).  There is something about how she manages to be who she is: a child actress turned full-time, yet she refuses to beat the Hollywood drum, and that captivates me.

There is talent.  There is heart.  There is a human there that I can respect.  And that, my friends, creates a girl crush.

The Lady and the Tiger.

Without the tiger. 

Sorry.  I was really reaching with that title.  That's what happens when you pretend to be an adult and exercise, do laundry, and dishes all before trying to blog.  Woe is me, right? 

Anyway.   

What a pretty lady in a perfect fall outfit.  Thank you, Refinery29, for showing me her ways. 

Now.  Where do you think she got this coat?

Happy Friday!

What is everyone up to this weekend?  I'm hoping to lay low a bit; I had so much fun with Andrea last weekend, but running around like that makes me one tired girl.  I have a scary movie party to attend and I'll probably swing by the hospital because my college roommate just had her second baby!!  Say hello to the world, Wesley Alexander.  (Great name, right?)

What else?  What else?

I have a shortened Friday Links page this week because I've been super busy...

• Has everyone heard of this yet?  Mindy Kaling (I ALWAYS write about her -- I have a major girl crush, obviously) has a new blog and she is as delightful as ever.
• An edited excerpt from a Charlie Kaufman lecture. 
• Florence Welch interviewed by Baz Luhrman.  (Katie, be prepared for them to mention Blake Lively like she's Florence's bestie.  She is their "mutual friend" and catalyst for introduction.)
• I was randomly checking a wedding blog to get one last Friday Link thinking, "Maybe they'll have a pretty dress."  And then I'm all, "Wait.  I KNOW that girl!"  (As much as you can know a friend's friend, you know what I mean?)  Kali is super gorgeous and had a super gorgeous wedding and I've already seen some of these photos on Facebook because, you know, Lauren was there.  No big deal. 

image via pinterest

Weekend!

 

Happy Friday, friends!  Can you believe it's October??  I always remember when they'd say that time moves faster the older you get.  Well, Jesus: time is flying.  And I'm not even old.

That scares me. 

But what doesn't scare me is that my best gal pal is turning three zero this weekend and we are GOING DANCING!  I can't wait to sip champagne and celebrate Bridg the best way I know how (she always wants to go dancing and I always poo poo it).  

I feel very lucky that I have friends in my life that keep me grounded, keep me laughing, and always make me feel loved.  Bridgid, I found you a bit late in the game, but I couldn't be happier having you in my life; simply knowing you're there makes things better.  Thank you for being an incredible friend!

Have a great weekend, ladies!  Drink wine and dance and tell your friends you love them!

Otherwise, read Friday Links:

• A sad account of admission from the LOST writer Damon Lindelof.  Nothing is surprising and, in fact, it's kind of refreshing to hear him actually say it.  But still...
• Not the same genre of show AT ALL, but I LOVE this second season show and it seems I'm not alone!
• I heart Mindy Kaling.  
• This is a bit old, but I didn't post last Friday when I meant to post this: I also heart Miranda July. 
• The most thoroughly sweet proposal.  (Thanks, Melissa!)
• An unsolved mystery I am STILL thinking about. 
• Perhaps a bit late in the season, but doesn't this sound delicious?
• And a playlist right up my alley.  Please send some love to Kate, she has a big hurdle ahead. 

image via pinterest

Even More Fall.

Sixty degrees and rainy, this girl makes it look gooooood.  It also reminds me how much I want a pair of short duck boots. 

image via modern hepburn

Beauty at its best.

This is still one of my all-time favorite looks.  Girl has never looked better.  Well, maybe that mustard dress she wore at the Oscars with Heath Ledger.  Remember how beautiful and glowing she was that night?  

We all forget the daisy dress, Michelle.  We all forget!

Emma Stone is a Redhead.

I know this picture has popped up everywhere, but I just can't seem to get enough of it.  I'm a fan of the red and pink combo and I think Emma Stone ROCKED it here, plus she's a redhead!

I've been wondering how my own clothes will change with my new hair color*.  Will my normal go-tos be out of the question?  If that's the case, I'm a girl up a creek for a week or two.  I've already prepared myself for a make-up change by incorporating more of a bronze/apricot tone into my everyday, as opposed to coral/pink.  And I've purchased (sample size, a girl's gotta save somewhere) the supposed end all be all shampoo/conditioner for dye jobs.

*Are you guys terrifically sick of hearing me talk about dying my hair red**?  A friend called me out for being a Redhead Tease yesterday because I've been TALKING ABOUT IT for SO LONG with no action.  I promised him the date was set and we're ready for launch on Thursday.

I've become hilariously drawn to my own brunette as of late.  It's my cold feet talking, but sometimes I catch myself in the mirror and think, "I've never noticed how well it goes with my skin tone before!"  Let's keep reminding me that it won't be going away forever.

I also find myself endlessly staring at redheaded lasses.  Then, only after realizing they are uncomfortably peeking at me, I turn away.  I feel like I could walk up to them and say, "I'M dying my hair red on THURSDAY!"  And we'd hold hands and discuss the virtues of being red until the sun came down.  BFFs forever.

All of this to say that today is my last full day as a brownie.  I feel like I should go to a library and read something.  No.  I feel like I should provide sound advice for my friends.  Wait.  Basically, I am ready to turn from Snow White into Ariel because, let's face it, her movie is way better.  Aaaaaaand I've always wanted to be a mermaid.

Who's with me and wants to be my Flounder??  Let's paint this town RED, m-fers!  (sorry, mom)    

**If so, I'm very sorry.  I obviously went ahead and droned on and on about it. 

image via Just Jared   

The Sartorialist.

The Sartorialist has been rocking it out recently, yes?  These ladies remain perfectly styled through the heat wave, color me impressed. 

I basically just curse and spit in the heat.  Well, not really spit, but there sure is a lot of cursing. 

And I don't look nearly as cute as these laydays while doing it.     

The Perfect Pair.

Gah.  This is perfection!  What a surprising twist on a classic outfit.  I can't decide if I like the sweater or bag best.  What do you think?

Tommy Ton knows what's what from Sydney Fashion Week.  That's for sure.

image: Tommy Ton via Everything Fabulous 

The Magpie Girl.

YOU GUYS.  I am not only seriously considering dying my hair that brilliant shade of red, but I am majorly lusting after those blue glasses.

Confession: I spent an inordinate amount of time on the internet last night searching for some fancy blue specs.  I even signed up for my first Warby Parker at home trial and am secretly, not so secretly, hoping that these bad boys rock my world.  I also have my eye on these guys (totally didn't intend that pun, but whatevs).

Frankly, I want to be The Magpie Girl, or at the very least look and dress exactly like her.  Creepy, no?  But come on, she's absolutely adorable AND lives in Ireland!  Go check out her blog to see even more adorableness.

Sooooo... what do you think?  Am I nutso for wanting to go ginger and wear turquoise/aqua glasses?  Complete Confession: I don't know if I even have the balls to go through with it, but it does make my heart go pitter patter just thinking about it.     

Jess Godwin.

I went to college with this girl.  I took a singing class with this girl.  Yes, it was a living nightmare for me to ever follow her in class. 

And now look at her!  She went off and got her own video and shit.  Color me impressed.

I'm so proud of her, I just had to share.  And I must say that I'm particularly partial to the shots from above while she's playing the piano.  So great, right?  Really, I love all of the shots where she's playing the piano. 

Congratulations, Jess!  You're a rock star!

Go here to check out her website and get even more info about this lovely lady.   

EmersonMade.

Are we all aware of EmersonMade? 

Emerson makes some of the most incredible clothes and accessories I've ever seen.  They're not on the cheapest of sides, but I always find myself going back just to look at them.  I mean, that white tuxedo jacket with the black lapels?  COME ON!  Not to mention the amazing reversible tote she has in the first picture.  Me loves. 

If you've been watching Secrets From a Stylist then you will recognize the jacket in the second picture.  It goes with anything! 

And, of course, her classic flowers.  Where it all started. 

Seriously, ladies, you won't be disappointed: pieces like these last a lifetime.

Bonus!  Go here to see her fantastic house.  I am seething with jealousy.